The art of being so many different things to so many different people is exactly that, an art. It takes time to refine, it gets messy at times and at the end of it all, you’re still not sure if it’s quite right!
In my own life, of course, I am only one person but I fulfil a whole lot of different roles at any given time. This is the same for everyone who participates in this thing called life. We are parents, sons, daughters, run households, run business, have bosses, have a social life, want to look after our health, be a great partner, be a great employee and still have a smile on our face at the end of it all. PHEW! It’s tiring, but I believe that our hats make us who we are, it’s just a matter of how we wear them!
Here are some things I have applied to my own life in order to wear my hats and change them up constantly!
Priorities. I believe that whatever you put first in your life, will flourish the most. If you pour your heart into your career and focus on working everyday to make that part of your life a success, then things will start to progress and forge ahead. If family is your focus, you will form strong bonds, great relationships and hopefully a happy home! Sometimes life calls to prioritise different things at different times and you have to make those decisions as they come. Be ok with your decisions and don’t feel as though you are missing out on the thing you are not doing. Everything has it’s time and will come around when it is supposed to.
Wear one hat at a time. This one is a hard one to achieve if you live fast paced and are a mulit-tasker. Try not to wear all your hats at once. Focus on the task at hand. If you are wearing the mum hat, do that with all your energy and love. Other days will see you wearing the career hat, the relationship hat and the best one of all the relaxation hat! My point is, when you are in the moment, be in the moment. Don’t try and change the focus. Something will get missed and you will start to feel the pressure of having to do everything at once. One lesson I have learned is that some things can wait and nothing bad will happen if you don’t get it done right away.
Quit the guilt. Immediately. The pressure of having to be everything to everyone at all times is something we often put on ourselves. Guilt is like worry, it achieves nothing. It adds not a single minute to your day. There is zero reason to feel it. Trust yourself that you will do the right thing in the right moment. If you get it wrong, it’s ok. Just own it do it differently the next time. Guilt is not real. What has happened has already been and you cannot change, alter or go back in time. If you have decided to be a working parent, embrace the hot coffee and adult conversation. If you ate the chocolate bar, make a different choose the next time, like eating half in the morning and half at night…less guilt right?! Whatever you do, don’t let the little guilt monster rob you of a great day.
Know your limits. We all have them. It’s hard to admit that we can’t actually do it all, but we are physically incapable of doing every last thing. Play to your strengths and be a legend at those things. Taking on what you know you can’t finish or achieve will only create the cycle of self loathing and cement the guilt. Put a cap on what you can get done in a day, and be happy with what you actually did. Celebrate the smallest thing, heck, sometimes just having a shower and getting out the door requires a full out party celebration! We all have different capacities, we all go at our own rate. Your limits are yours, no one else’s. Live by them.
Don’t compare hats. This is a big one. Comparison on any level is a dangerous road to walk. Look, here’s how I see it – there is always going to be someone better than you at something. There I said it. It’s just life. It’s annoying, but is true. However, here is the great news, there is not now, nor will there ever be anyone on the planet that is as good as you at…being YOU. You are the best one of your kind and no one can take that away. So, with that in mind we can only ever work with what we’ve got. Sure, I’d love Kendall Jenner’s face, with Elle Macpherson’s body and Gwen Stefani’s swag, but it’s never going to happen, not in a million years! So I say, go Kendall, Elle and Gwen with all your good things!
Have the best that life will give you! I’ll cheer you all on from where I stand, and where I stand is exactly where I should be. With the exact right face, legs and personality that will serve me in what I am born to do. I like my hats and I’ll keep them thanks!
T O P / Rachel Gilbert
P A N T S / Rachel Gilbert
P H O T O G R A P H Y / Zac Poor