Ebb & Flow: a decline and increase, constant fluctuations.
Life has a way of bringing constant change. I do like the challenge of keeping up with it’s inconsistencies but I’m also honest and realistic that it’s hard to find the balance sometimes.
For instance, this past week has been a cracker. As in, the crumbs of a half eaten cracker from a cheese platter long forgotten, not a New Years Eve celebratory one. Battling family jet lag, nursing my sick 1 year old, sorting most of the contents of our house into throw out/give away/keep piles, and all the while trying to be the best #girlboss I can be and steer the business. I was left feeling delirious and extremely time poor. I felt like I was running in circles to fulfil everything that needed to be attended to.
The way to look at ebb & flow sometimes is to see that one simply cannot do everything all at once. It might mean that you have to be ok with not getting every last thing on the to do list done or to appreciate the slower, less crazy moments in life. Being aware that life does have increased and declining periods and that somehow, there is a natural balance. I am absolutely no expert on this subject, but here are some tips that have helped me be friends with the ebb & the flow.
Surrendering is really letting go of the control. It’s not wasting precious energy and emotion on something that cannot be changed. Surrender to the plan that didn’t work out, the child that didn’t do it just so, the husband that believes that near enough to the washing basket is good enough, to the job you didn’t get, to the dream that wasn’t fulfilled or to the parking fine issued 1 minute before you got to your car. It’s a powerful skill to possess and one I have used to get me out of many anxious moments. It’s much harder than it appears, but well worth the effort.
Sometimes I have trouble sleeping at night. Just like any other human, the night time is when worry creeps in, children keep me up or I simply can’t switch off my brain. I find that if I concentrate on taking slow, deep breaths, my thoughts start to slow down, I have more clarity, and I become more calm. It is a really simple way of slowing down the pace of thoughts and distracting them with something else. I like to try it while I’m driving or have a quite moment to myself. You might feel a little bit strange when doing it, but coming from someone who has tried it – it’s a winner.
I am huge into lists. I write everything down that needs to be done. It’s my calm in a storm. My memory is terrible, so I find it’s the only way something will be remembered. Once I have a list, I then prioritise in order of importance or urgency. I love ticking things off the list once completed and moving onto the things further down the page. This helps keep order to what really needs to be done and keeps me focused on the task at hand. If I prioritise and write it all down, then the less important tasks don’t clog up precious brain space!
Let it go
Can’t hold it back anymore..(thank you Frozen). But seriously, let it go. Much easier said than done. Having what seems like a million things on the go at any one time, it’s easy to take on the weight of all the tasks, anxieties and stresses that life throws at us. Of course, we have serious responsibilities to fulfil in our everyday lives, so we can’t let it all go, but I’m talking about not sweating the small stuff. If someone isn’t doing something how you want it to be done, don’t worry! As long as it’s getting done, that is the main thing. Surrender. Breathe and let it go.
Argh. Annoying, but true. Getting to the gym or outside for a run or walk, is a sure fire way to feel good. I understand that sometimes finding the time to squeeze in exercise can be the thing that causes the stress, but it is always well worth the effort and it’s pretty much a guarantee that you leave feeling much clearer in your mind.
Take the pressure off
Sometimes the pressure we put on ourselves is more pressure than any other person is putting on us. We have huge expectations of what we need to get done in a day and how we should fulfil it. I’m not saying, don’t push yourself into excellence and expect the very best from yourself, that is a given, just give yourself a break if you don’t meet your own expectations every time. If you know you have given all you have for a particular task and done the very best you could in the circumstance, then gold star to you. No need to beat yourself up. Give yourself a pat on the back and put your feet up every now and then.
D R E S S / Oskar
S H O E S / Senso
S U N G L A S S E S / Witchery
P H O T O G R A P H E R / Johnny Diaz Nicolaidis